How to Score a Trophy Squirrel

Have you ever dreamed of shooting a record book but just can’t seem to get it done.

Sometimes you just have to broaden your sphere and find another way in the hunting record books. Squirrels unlimited has your solution. They came up with the Nut and Chatter scoring system. Here is how they explain it.

You have time to bag your trophy!!!!

With all of the deer hunters bragging on Facebook and score talk, I thought about the need to start bragging on Squirrels…Not the mess you shot, or the big black one, the white one, or tender gray. But the TRUE SCORE of your TROPHY SQUIRREL.

This question has come up many times over the last few years. And I believe this is the best answer. As should be painfully obvious, typical scoring systems focus on the head of the animal. I have a unique observation which may have been missed by some of my fellow Hunters which I will share now: “buck” squirrels do not typically have antlers, horns or tusks which usually set them apart from other male game.

This leaves us with a conundrum.

After careful anatomical observations of living and dead squirrels, it seems there is but one obvious choice. While this might make some people uncomfortable, it seems the best, most consistent way to compare the trophy quality of buck squirrels would include testicular mass or circumference.

Yes, testes.., testicles.., “the boys”.., cojones.., ‘nads… along with a variety of other colorful names, testicles seem to be the unique characteristic on which we should focus.

At this time SqU is the only sanctioning body to score and recognize for classification of records.

Now I realize the fine folks at Boone and Crockett might need to have a professional artist update the following sketch but the diagram shows how the Nut and Chatter scale works.

A = length of buck squirrel, forehead to tip of tail (mm*)

B = length of head, behind the ears to the tip of the nose (mm)

C = testicular circumference (mm)

A + B + C = your squirrel’s Nut and Chatter score

A big squirrel might be 16 inches or ~400mm long, have a head length of 80mm and a testicular circumference of 80mm and would generate a score over 550. A monster would exceed 600. I suggest a score of 530 to be considered a “book” (record book) squirrel.

This may become the NEXT BIG THING, and maybe some sort of sponsorship will come of it.

Check out their Facebook page HERE