I came across this on Facebook a while back I am not sure who wrote this, but I thought it was pretty funny.
7 Types of duck hunters
The Gunsel is a brand spanking new to the sport hunter. He has seen ducks on his deer lease and crawled a tank and now his interest is peaked. The gunsel has no clue how much line to run on his decoys, how to run a call, shoots paw paws old model 11 with low brass 2 3/4 shells and half the time they are lead 7 1/2. The gunsel isn’t even sure he needs a duck stamp.
The Bird Watcher
He has now progressed past the gunsel stage and spends his time creeping on duck forums. Way too timid to post but absorbs all the info he gathers from all the duck commanders (I’ll get to them next) that post on forums. He knows now he needs an 870 that shoots at least 3 1/2 inch mags, a double reed call or maybe just a whistle, couple dozen mallard decoys, a spinner, and a layout blind. The bird watcher goes out on death marches on walk-in public sites. Sets up with the wind wrong and in a bad spot because on foot, he can’t make it to the good spots. He never kills anything except maybe a jack or coot but he is hooked!! Because he never kills much is why we call him The Bird Watcher!
The Duck Commander
He now has two seasons under his belt and finally starting to post on forums. He has drooled all over the Macs and Rodgers catalog all summer and worn out YouTube how to call videos. He has gotten decent on his call but still has no clue when to use it. Has now stepped up his game to a knock-off automatic but couldn’t get the 3 1/2, but has shot some 5 stand and has an extra extra full choke so he is pretty sure he can kill some. Him and his other DC buddies meet up at 2 am with solid black face paint and a lanyard with at least 5 mallard hen calls, two whistles, gadwall call, and a Canada goose call. He and his 5 buddies get in their 14 ft jon boat and make it far enough into public to start shoot limits of boot lips, jacks, and gray duck here and there. They blow up social media with tailgate pics where they look like coal miners in camo.
The hardcore has 4 seasons under his belt. He has now bought a mud boat and motor and will crush nothing but green (in his mind and on the internet) in the way back hard to get to places. He now shoots a B gun that cycles all size ammo. He puts on his face paint in tiger stripes and has cut his lanyard down to 5 calls 3 mallard hens ( one single reed two double) one whistle, and one Canada goose call. Has the top of the line decoys. Mallard and sprig floaters and few full bodies. Any tree that’s in the water is flooded timber, and on the internet all he shoots is green, but in reality, it’s lots of grays, widgeon, and teal. Sports the latest camo patterns on everything. Has a dog named after a gun or some other duck hunting product and is constantly screaming at it and it usually breaks and chews up ducks. Hunts now with only about 4 buddies and calls them his crew. He prostaffs for about 5 company’s and makes sure you know it!!! Also has gotten at least two duck hunting tattoos. Is contemplating becoming a guide And gets seriously involved with DU or his local Delta chapter. gets all bent out of shape on duck hunting forums if called out.
This guy has gotten about 8 seasons on him. He is now way to cool for camo and face paint. Wears a face mask and only buys olive colored hunting clothes. Down to three calls. Two mallard hen ( both single reed) and one whistle. Still hunts public but knows how to kill them. Has a pretty good dog with a normal name (as in not Remmi or Drake) and only hunts with one or two buddies. Regrets the stupid duck tattoos and only shoots over a few dozen decoys. Makes fun of face paint guys and is no longer as involved with his local DU and Delta chapters. Likes to troll hardcores on hunting forums. Hardly post pictures unless it’s to shut up a braggadocio‘s hard-core.
These guys have been at for at least 20 years. They don’t get excited about opening day because there aren’t enough ducks down to make it worth hunting yet. They know mid-December is when the ducks show up. Just about nothing seems new to them anymore so to make it exciting again they start hunting with old school guns. SxS and old auto 5’s and model 12’s. Still has three calls two singles and a whistle but it’s just because he is too lazy to take one hen call off. It’s usually way out of tune because it’s been there since his Heritage hunter days. Matches the hatch with his decoys that are either foam or wood because he is bored with plastics. Hunts with a solid old dog that won’t move a muscle until he tells it. Uses no face mask, just keeps his head down like the old-timers. Could care less about limits, just as long as he gets a few for the dog to fetch. Hasn’t been to a DU or delta banquet in years. Wears whatever is on sale when his old gear wears out. Only a few of his buddies make it out gunning with him any more. Never post pictures on forums except for old throwback pictures. Shakes his head at the nonsense going on with the hardcores on the forums.
Super Throw Backs
These guys are a whole different class. They make their own decoys, boats, and calls from scratch. Usually, really old guys who love to post all their handiwork and tutorials on forums and only the Heritage hunters and throwbacks enjoy their posts. Their dogs are usually one foot in the grave but were dang solid in their days. They eat every part of the duck, except the feathers. They make pillows out of those. They dame near shoot a musket just to prove they are more throwback than the throwbacks. They don’t understand the internet but plow their way through it. Hardcores can’t stand them.